Hope

It is Sunday... arguably, my favorite day of the week as the pile of chores has been mostly attended to, and there are typically no firm commitments or appointments. Though, there are always exceptions. Coming off our week, I am even more grateful for the peace. Tomorrow we will resume therapy, blood work, collecting urine and feces for tests, but today, we can just be a family. I love it.

Both of my girls are taking naps for the moment, and I can actually try to catch up on emails, phone calls, etc. I just spent a fabulous hour doing homework on some of Avery's new medicines and treatment protocols, and feel inspired. I always feel a bit euphoric when we have a new idea of how to help her, and today is no different. I also spent some of this time on a fantastic website that documents testimonials of parents who have helped heal their children. Not all of them to the point of recovery, but healed their bodies nonetheless, and helped ease the Autism symptoms. The site is www.generationrescue.org . Again, I feel inspired.

I was speaking to a friend of mine earlier in the week who also happens to be a family counselor. She was impressed at how my outlook, mood, and overall demeanor has brightened. I was thinking about this today and why this might be. Then as I put Avery down for her nap, and blew her 4 kisses on my way out of her room, she giggled in a delighted manner, and I remembered. It's because I have decided to follow her lead, and love her absolutely unconditionally. We often throw that word around without really understanding it's depth. When I say without conditions... I really mean it. Without expectations, period.

So while it can be exhausting trying to figure out how to help her, and I will continue to fight tirelessly to her benefit, it doesn't mean I can't sit back on a lazy Sunday and simply relish in the joy she and Kaylin bring to my soul. None of us really know what lies ahead, and I am working really hard to stop projecting and start living more in the present. Knowing that it's the little things, like laughter from a few blown kisses, that make life worthwhile.