Thursday, November 6, 2008
Halloween came and went without too much commotion. I admit to being a little sad to see that Avery didn't "get it" at all yet... but then remembered all that I have learned over the past several months and decided to celebrate just being together as a family.
Halloween is the one day a year when it is okay to admit you are trying to be something you are not. It's an interesting concept to ponder. Everyday in the community I live in, people are trying to demonstrate an "image" of perfection. We live in houses above our means and dress our kids in clothes to expensive for the few minutes they actually wear them, all so that we "appear" to have it all together. I am as guilty of this as anybody, maybe even more so. I can even remember saying recently that although Avery may have Autism... "she will always look cute dammit!" I guess that is something I can control in this uncontrollable world I reside in. What I am trying to do through this blog and in my personal journey through this unpredictable world we live in is shed my costume, and really open up about the pain, joy, heartache and victory of living in a imperfect world blemished with disease and disability. To show that even in our darkest moments, there are little blessings that add so much more to our character than a fancy car or a fabulous wardrobe. The more I live and learn, the more I realize how little value "things" and "status" really hold. Comparing ourselves to others, in any form or fashion, is pretty pointless. Being truly self aware on the other hand, and focusing on our own growth and strength, is what makes us better individuals. But even being "individuals" isn't really the point. What really matters is our relationships. How we love each other, and how to do so without judgement, criticism, conditions, or expectations. So each day I strive to be a little less "dressed up" and a little more real. Real about my family. Real about myself. Real about my feelings. Real about what really matters. No costume needed. :)